


If It Was Me

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, F/M, Light Bondage, M/M, Multi, Multiple Personalities, Nostalgia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 00:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1877472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a modern AU where the story circles around Annie Leonhart's situation where she has multiple personalities and each person she sees and meet has a different feeling towards her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> [Music](http://www.listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=tYI3fy-H86w&src_vid=fYfXOnLml2I&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_157635) for extra experience in this chapter.
> 
> (Cntrl + Click to open in a new tab without going to that tab. The music will automatically replay.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Sighs*... It ended out sadder than I thought it'd be. Sorry.
> 
> Also, my update is very slow and I might not be able to get all the characters, you can skip however you like. Again, I'm sorry ._.
> 
> (The update actually doesn't change much to let you guys know. I just changed a few stuff. I'm sorry I didn't do this at first...)

It’s like any Thursday again. Sometimes it feels like time is dragging her a little. Laziness has always been something stuck to Annie’s head. She never knows that she has a natural daily course that sticks tightly to. Training, then shower afterwards. Homeroom at seven thirty. She felt lucky that summer is coming up quite fast and rapidly. It feels as if the classes weren’t for classes anymore. As if they were just following by to get ready for the final goodbye. Even Levi did something for his “crew”. She did nothing.

For some reason, even though she’s been feeling numb lately, Eren showed up in her head for quite the time. Eren and Annie were dating back in grade nine. She used to beat the crap out of Eren when they first met. It was in a PE session when they had to learn about self-defenses. It took them less than four minutes to decide whether to love or not when they first met. They both cut it off after a month. Or at least Annie did. Eren just accepted the fact that she doesn’t like him anymore. He cried that night and didn’t go to school the next week. She didn’t cry. That month went on with lots of silence.

Silently, they both loved each other but Annie just decided that love wasn’t worth it for her heart to go that way anymore. Sometimes she wonders if it has come to the point where she loved Eren so much that she couldn’t feel love again after she left. With a simple reason that she will leave this world, someday. And it’d be inevitable. Everybody leaves this world, someday. But Annie doesn’t believe in heaven. She believes that when you’re gone, you’re gone for good. God shows no mercy to humans when he decided what to do with Satan. God could do anything, but God is guilty for not doing them. God only exist for people who could no longer have faith in anything. It always circles around that once you’re gone, you’re gone for good. It’d be easier for Eren to let go of a bitch then to let go of a lover.

Truth is that, she loves Eren more than anything.

But for now, she’s just a girl walking through the hallway with bubble tea on her hand with Sasha and Jean. She doesn’t want to listen to them. Deep in her head she’d imagine Eren with her. Next to her. Holding her hand with another cup of bubble tea. It feels hollow inside. It feels like that every day. She wouldn’t fight it. Because she knows that this was something Eren brought to her life. She was grateful for it.

Jean and Sasha are talking something about Mikasa again, Jean likes her. But Mikasa likes Eren. Which turns out, Mikasa hates Annie. Which also turns out, Mikasa hates Jean. Because Jean hangs out with Sasha. Who hangs out with Annie. Complicated. Annie sighs. Jean would have ditched Sasha and a long time ago but does it seem suspicious that he didn’t?

The violent lights shine into the tall windows. It’s almost summer again. Everyone would be expecting Levi to prepare something to do for summer. Which, in other words is like a challenge. Each person has to do a challenge in summer no matter what it is. They have to record it. And why? The yearbook. Levi’s in charge of the yearbook and anybody who disobeys him will get the worst shot in the yearbook, next year of course. His crew came up with it actually.

Annie’s curious about the next challenge. They’re usually absurd. She likes it. It’ll be announced in the last week of school, which is next week. Time is flying by and Annie has no reason to miss the people she sees every day. Yet she does. A lone wolf. It suddenly got to her mind.

A lone wolf. Live alone. Die alone. And nobody would need to go through the suffering of saying goodbye, wouldn’t they? Sounds promising for her. Even with the floating air of summer coming up, it almost felt like she was ready to die anytime. Peacefully. And finally rejoin her family once again. All she’d wish for is a peaceful death. She could die fast without anybody knowing it.

It seems promising to her.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa x Annie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol that summary was short
> 
> Music: [Kiritorisen](www.youtube.com/watch/?v=hlhYsnu09xw)

It’s turning to the afternoon again.

The subway is probably full anyways. She was lucky that school ended earlier than usual. Lucky enough just to get a seat. Half of Tokyo is down here in this subway.

It takes roughly thirty or maybe forty minutes to get home this way. She’s usually impatient but when she gets what she wants, she doesn’t think it’s worth it anymore.

“Hey.” A voice. It’s not far from her. Feminine. In a range of one meter, “Hey.” It whispers again. Annie looks around. Two chairs on the right, across her sight.

It’s Mikasa.

_That scarf._

_Are you mental? It’s fucking hot here. Your choice of fashion is terrible._

“Hey.” Mikasa whispers again. Annie twitches, turning away to the corner of her eye. But she approaches hesitantly and grabs the bar next to Mikasa in the end of the seats, standing, “What?” Mikasa looks up at Annie with some sense of obedience. Annie stares blankly back to Mikasa. Nothing much she could say. Rather than saying it’s ridiculously dumb to still wear a scarf in the summer.

She stares down to Mikasa although there’s not much distance to stare down. Annie is only slightly taller than Mikasa if Mikasa’s sitting down, “Bertolt wants to see you.” Mikasa finally talks. Her eyelids drop a little down. Annie doesn’t react. This sounds obviously suspicious to her.

First of all, Mikasa hates her. She knows Mikasa hates her to the guts. Sure it might have been jealousy but why would you be jealous of this person? This person, that dated your own brother? Even if they aren’t siblings, why would you be jealous of a person who no longer has a reason to be jealous of? Annie never understood Mikasa.

“Who is Bertolt?” She’d actually pronounce each word clearly in a sense, cueing Mikasa to back off. But she keeps her calm, “Thought you knew, through Reiner.” Mikasa was making a second thought about mentioning Reiner’s name, “Ymir’s twin brother.” Mikasa’s head drop a little while Annie blinks, “You thought wrong. I’m not close to everyone.”

Mikasa keeps quiet for a moment. But Annie waits. She knows that Mikasa’s going to say something. She’s thinking at the least, “Ymir is everyone, Annie.” Annie tilts her head. Mikasa mentioned her name.

 _You’re basically saying that I’m closer to someone, as you’ve observed me. True?_ She told herself.

_Wouldn’t this mean you’re referring to that brat you love so much?_

“You’re quite close with Reiner from what I’ve seen.” Mikasa interrupts Annie’s thoughts, snapping her back to reality. _I guess not._ The subway stops, they arrive at a station. Everyone leans a little. _I am far from close to Reiner._ _He likes Marco._ Someone on Mikasa’s side leaves their seat. Annie sits next to her as the stranger goes. The subway continues with a little awkwardness going on between the two. Annie tries to choose her words wisely this time. Reiner wouldn’t be an ally anymore if she told Mikasa about it, “He’s gay.”

“That’s a fair excuse for someone who wants to stay around girls.” Annie turns her head to Mikasa. Which reminds her, she hasn’t turned her head to Mikasa this whole time, “It’s a fair excuse too for some girls to stay around guys.” She’s annoyed. Reiner is probably the last person she’ll ever date. He has a terrible history about relationships which made Annie completely block him from the people who she could date and could not date, “I can assure there won’t be rumors.”

_I don’t trust you._

“Fair enough?”

Annie emphasizes on the last word a little stronger than it would be.

“Fair enough.”

“Now, who is this Bertolt you’re talking about?”

Mikasa’s eyes shift to the map, “Bertolt Hoover, a possible member of the crew. He just moved in this year. He isn’t in your class. You don’t have any classes with him.”

“There is no possible way you could have met him before.”

“So you’ve never met him at the least.”

It seems to Annie that Mikasa’s actually choosing these words just for the fact that Mikasa wants her to know that she haven’t met this person. What makes her curious is that the reason why Mikasa wants her to think she knows this person, or at least want to. It wouldn’t be the opposite, because Mikasa knows that Annie is too clever for this. Annie knows that herself too.

“His academic skills are overwhelming yet unnoticeable by our, society.” _Society._ Annie puts her hands in her sport hoodie pocket with her arm kind of touching Mikasa’s arm since it’s sleeveless, “Therefore, the result for his little friends group only include Armin, Jean, and Marco.”

_This guy is pathetic. But poor guy too._

_He might like it that way though. Like me._

Annie sighs at the answer Mikasa gives her. _A different type of loner._ It wasn’t what she’s looking for. So she asks for it, “Why is he seeing me.” Her tone doesn’t change. It doesn’t seem like she’s asking, too. She expects Mikasa to get the air she’s giving. But it seems that Mikasa is keeping a distance. Hiding maybe, even though they’re right next to each other. Mikasa is hiding mentally, “He didn’t tell me why.” _Then, what did he tell you?_ She was going to ask Mikasa again but she was tired of this.

“You’re going to meet him after the next station. I’m not coming. I have a class.” She figures that Bertolt might be waiting directly on the station as she walks down. It’s weird that Mikasa doesn’t want to see Bertolt in a sense. She doesn’t trust the fact that Mikasa actually has a class at this time, right after school finishes. But what does she know about Mikasa anyway.

“You might wanna get ready, Princess.”

The subway stops. The subway doors open with people going in and out, “Shut up Sebastian(1). Go make me some tea.” Annie crosses her legs as Mikasa stands up. She brushes her hair up with her hand and turns back to Annie. She’s gigantic from Annie’s view, “Also, be careful. He’s… sensitive, I guess.”

“So now you’re worrying about him?”

“No.” Mikasa seems disturbed. She’s getting angry a little. But not angry at Annie. Anger that she only hides with herself. She doesn’t seem to deflect any expressions but judging from her expressions, it seems that she’s disgusted by him in a sense, “It’s just that… he’s sensitive.”

“Sure. Sensitive.”

The subway door closes as Mikasa already left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Annie was referring to Black Butler
> 
> Sorry this chapter was kindda short... I originally planned to post more of it here but I think it's too long so I kind of cut it off. I'll start editing :)

**Author's Note:**

> Plz leave a comment if you liked it :)


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